Art Journal Update #1

The poem//

it's ok

to feel hurt

to stand up for yourself

to wear that funky dress

to let go 

to try new things

to forgive and move on

to be creative

to cry

to dance

to take that selfie

to say no

to smile

~

it's ok

to be uniquely you

The inspiration// 

I was thinking back to middle school me, the girl who was so afraid to go somewhere without straightening her hair. The girl who wouldn't cry in front of anyone. The girl who was afraid to wear the things she thought was cute. The girl who was angry. I want her to know, and all other girls with those same insecurities, it's okay not to be exactly like everyone else. It's okay to forgive others and smile. It's okay to feel pain and cry. 

The poem//
The lacey covering of death
Shadows past memories.
Sorrow clings to its delicate cloth,
Raw emotion claws at the strings.
One single tug
And everything breaks loose.
Happiness becomes clouded,

Death is everywhere you step.

The inspiration//
I found this piece of writing stuffed in a journal from 7th grade. Suddenly, all these memories came rushing back to me. I remember when I wrote this, and I remember why. I remember the pain I was feeling, the loneliness. So I took to paper and tried to create this image of what that felt like. Five years later, reading this piece still hurts, but I don't want to forget that pain, so thus it went into my new journal to be remembered.

The poem//

i saw you walking by

my chest tightened

i froze

because i know you have

every 

reason to be wary of me

we passed each other

no words were said

you looked up

i looked away

i'm sorry for the things i said

i'm sorry for the things i did

i'm sorry for the things

i'm too afraid to say 

face to face

maybe someday i'll be brave

but today

i'm sorry

that these words are on paper

instead of spoken to you

The inspiration//

This is to all the people I owe apologies to. To all the people I've wronged. To all the people I've hurt. This is my selfish poem. This is my way of saying sorry without having to say it. 

The poem//
headlights
hundreds of them
each car
holding a person
with feelings
stories
lives
each person whose life
i know nothing of
but whose life
is so big
to them
how small am i
who am i to think
i am so important
when my life is only
a grain of sand
in this vast
vast sea
of headlights
shining back at me

The inspiration//
After a long day, I was driving back home and my mind started wondering, as it does. I was thinking about how tired I was, how my head hurt, all the homework I needed to finish, all the reasons in why my life isn't 100 percent at the moment. Just your casual pity party. Then I started thinking about all the cars I had been passing. The drive from town to my house is 30 minutes, on a few busy highways. I started thinking about the hundreds of lives I had just passed, and how every single person has their own issues I know and care nothing of, and how all those people know and care nothing about mine.I suddenly started to feel oh so very small. How often I complain about my life, when there are so many other people struggling and needing the good news of Jesus. So many people whose stories are just waiting to be told.

The Poem//
i'm alright
but
i feel so lonely
invisible
if i were to
disappear
would anyone notice
would anyone care
or would it be like
i was never actually
there
these tears are silly
and they don't make any sense
because no ones here
to watch them
fall from my face
but it's okay
i'm alright
i'll keep on smiling
and wiping those invisible
tears
from my eyes

The inspiration//
We all know what it's like to feel lonely. Sometimes I get in these really bad moods, where I'm just sitting alone in my room and feel so incredibly lonely, like i'm invisible, but it's so hard for me to admit that. Do people really care? Am I just being overly dramatic? Am I a bad Christian for feeling this way? These types of questions float around in my brain, so I brush it off. I don't let people see. But last time I felt this way, I wrote this poem down. Then, I talked to a friend and she encouraged me. I prayed to my God, and He reminded me I was loved and never alone. Finally, I pet my adorable puppy, and he gave me kisses. Sometimes you might feel like you're alone, invisible, but you're not. Oh dear one, you are never invisible to God and those around you who love you.


With love,

Elizabeth