Monday, February 27, 2017

I'm a Bad Blogger // Tired Eyes and No Words

Hello friends,

It's a pleasant evening tonight. I've sat down with a steaming cup of tea, headphones in with soothing music, and my five hour headache has mostly slipped away. No due date looms over my head and my fingers ache to start writing, typing, anything.

Yet, the words don't come.

I've sat here over and over the last couple of months, writing very few posts I'm proud of, countless drafts bound to sit there for eternity, and still an ache in my heart and a yearning to say something. I've sat staring at my computer screen to the point where it feels like the white light will consume me. My eyes hurt with tiredness and my head no longer wants to think coherent thoughts.

How do you combat this? What do you do when you know the words are there, when you know there's something waiting to be seen, but nothing comes out?

I've been so frustrated with my writing life this year. Writing was something I could claim, it was my "thing," my hobby. But lately, I can't even get myself to post regularly on here, let alone comment on other posts. My journaling and poetry has staggered, and even my writing for school has taken a blow.

Maybe I've spread myself too thin, or maybe I'm not spending my time wisely, but I've come to the point where I have to accept that I'm not an amazing blogger who can write freely and have countless creative ideas. I'm simply human, a person with greater responsibilities than blogging. A person whose personal health and mental well-being is more important than blogging. A person who loves to write, but has to balance their life and breathe every once in awhile.

I miss writing, my goodness I miss it, but it's not realistic to hold myself to these blogging standards.

I'm a bad blogger.

There, I said it. No need to defend me (or agree with me, gosh hitting me when I'm down), I know. I mean sheesh guys, I've only posted twice this month, and one of those posts was just a monthly recap.

You see, I want to be more vulnerable on here. Sure, I want my blog to be fun and happy at times, but I also want to tell the truth. I want to be honest and gritty and real. So my first step towards this goal is just this: admitting my defeat, but continuing to strive to do better and create content I'm proud of.

So hang in there guys. I have some things up my sleeve that I'm excited about. I promise I'm not leaving anytime soon and that my tired eyes won't keep me from doing what I love. I'm just simply here to tell you I can't be a perfect blogger, but if you guys stick around, I might just occasionally wow (hah) you with a semi-cool post every once in awhile.

Honestly, you readers are the best and I adore you. Thanks for supporting me even when I disappear time and time again. Hopefully you'll be seeing more of me this spring, so get excited!

With much love,


Saturday, February 18, 2017

Chats Over Coffee #2 // On Vulnerability

Well hey there,

Did I mean to disappear for almost three weeks? No. Did I previously say I grasped the concept of time management? Yes. Did I really? Well, obviously not. GUYS I really miss blogging and I feel like I've been so disconnected from everyone this year. Seriously, classes have been kicking my butt and most of my weekends are spent working. Writing and blogging have become my last priority, which has been awful, but something I've had to do in order to stay sane and complete my assignments. Somehow, I've managed to find some time to sit down and talk to you all, so I'm pretty excited.

So about a month ago, everyone was talking about what their 2017 word was going to be. I thought it seemed like such a great idea, but I never got around to talking about it. This year, I decided to choose vulnerability. Being vulnerable is so much more than talking about your woes, but it's sharing your story and risking ridicule, being open nonetheless in hopes what you have to say can help someone else (from Lizzy's dictionary that is probably inaccurate). Vulnerability is so vital to relationships and can change your life, so I think it's pretty darn important.

i. vulnerability leads to authentic relationships

Tell me if I'm wrong, but I believe it's hard to be true to yourself if you're not vulnerable. When you're hiding parts of your story in fear of being judged or hurt, you're not letting people see an important part of who you are. Authentic relationships are wonderful, it's important to have a person you can trust and lean on. But you need to be authentic as well. Now I'm not saying you need to tell your life story to every single person you meet, but don't be shy to open up to the people you know and care about.

ii. vulnerability leads to a better relationship with yourself

Being vulnerable requires you to love yourself and be comfortable with your flaws and your story. This doesn't always come right away, nor are you always one hundred percent okay with yourself, but being vulnerable helps you see you as you: a human with flaws and insecurities, but powerful and beautiful all the same. Being vulnerable has helped me be more open with myself. I've become comfortable with who I am and a lot of my insecurities have died away. I've learned to accept myself, thus being more open for others to see me.

iii. vulnerability can change other people's lives

God made you for a reason, and your story is so important. Sometime's it's hard to see why God would allow bad things to happen to us, but in everything, He is good. Whether you've dealt with mental illness, a death of a loved one, an injury, abuse, loneliness, or something else, that can be shared with other's going through the same thing and can change how they look at their life. I can't express this enough, your story should be shared! Not just because you are important (which you are) but that God has given you this life and you can use the good and bad to encourage others through their ups and downs. It's because of people in my life who were willing to share parts of themselves that I was able to open up more and realize that life is good and in the darkness, there is always light to be found. So become comfortable with being vulnerable, you have no idea how much of an impact your story can be on others.

Okay great Liz, but how in the world do I become vulnerable? Well let me tell you.

i. share your testimony

Ahhh scary right? Well, it doesn't have to be. I'm not saying you need to go on stage in front of your youth group or church, but find someone you trust and share your story with them. As I've been saying, God has given you life for a reason and that reason is important! Your story means something and should be shared. Find a friend or family member you're close to and exchange testimonies. Or, if you have a small group, think about talking to your leader and organizing a night where you can all get together, share your testimonies and pray for one another. Sharing your testimony helps you become more confident in becoming vulnerable and shows you just how far you've come and how much God has done in your life.

ii. be open with your feelings

There's a difference in sharing how you feel vs. complaining (*ahem* go check out my blog post on that, shameless self promo). But if someones asks you how your day was, or how you're feeling, be honest with them! If it was great, share how it was encouraging. If you're having a rough day, tell them how they can pray for you. You don't have to lay out your heart to them, but in sharing just small bits and pieces of your day and feelings, you begin to become more familiar with sharing the more vulnerable parts of yourself.

iii. find a group of encouraging friends

This is huge! It's hard to be vulnerable with strangers, for a good reason! You don't know those people or what they might do with the information you give them. It's really important to find a group of friends you know are trustworthy and will give biblical advice to you. Maybe join a small group through your church or youth group. If you have encouraging christian friends, draw closer to them and build strong relationships. If you're a part of the blogging community, reach out to your friends! The bloggers here are amazing and full of encouragement. Seriously, if you want to be my friend and share life experiences, hit me up! I would love love getting to know you better.

**Would any of you be interested in me sharing my testimony here on the blog sometime in the near future, and then possibly featuring a few awesome bloggers willing to share their testimonies on here as well? Because I think that'd be pretty cool and a wonderful way to see how God is working in each one of our lives. So let me know what you all think of that idea

Sorry if this was a bit of a sappy post, but guys this is really important to me! I actually just shared my testimony in front of my youth group a few weeks ago and wow it was scary, but it affirmed to me that this was going to be my goal this year. I want to share my story and how God has changed me, and I want to hear your story and what's made you who you are right now! So grab some coffee (or tea), and chat with me. What has God done in your life? What makes you so freaking amazing? Because don't forget about the amazing person that you are my friend. And hit that notify me button so we can continue the conversation. I look forward to hearing your thoughts :)

Have a restful weekend my friends,


Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Hey There February

Hey guys,

It's officially the second month of the new year, crazy huh?? This month has been busy and stressful, but also full of new experiences and exciting news. I know I've been a bit absent here on the blogging world, but I think I've finally figured out time management, so hopefully you'll be seeing a lot more of me this month. I don't have a lot to say in this introduction paragraph, so let's get onto the wrap up and discuss what's happening.

Currently// Learning more about the Pacific Northwest than I ever dreamed, writing for school constantly and writing for pleasure not enough, re-watching the Office and laughing a lot, attempting to pass ceramics, trying not to fall on my butt while holding the tree pose, and spending way too much on fries in my school's cafeteria.

Reading// The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. Yes, guys I'm still reading this. Don't get me wrong, it's really good, but I just don't have time to sit down and really get into it. It's truly very sad. Also, Gemina by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff. I loved the formatting of the first book, but found the characters a little dull. I'm hoping to enjoy this one better and I'm still pretty excited to see where it takes the story.

Watching// The BBC mini series of Emma. GUYS oh my goodness my friend Sasha introduced me to this beautiful show and Mr. Knightley *inserts heart eyes emoji* be still my heart, what a cutie. Also I started watching The Crown and it is sooooo good. It's hard for me to adjust to Matt Smith as someone other than the doctor, but he is amazing nonetheless.

Enjoying// Elissa's post, My Vlog is Here *Everyone Cheers.* Rebekah's post, Innocence. Cally's post, Goodness. Addy's post, Hope of a Moment. Julia's post, Me vs You. And Sarah's post, I'm Fine.

Loving// Hot fudge sundae pop tarts after yoga class (don't judge me), learning I got a job as a summer camp counselor, making aesthetic boards for my favorite books instead of sleeping, starting a novel with sad protagonists and marshmallow fluff, reading a book that has a perspective from a squirrel, sharing my poetry on chasing moonlight, and having Star Wars gif competitions with Julia.

Disliking// Getting my lanyard stuck in my ponytail while passing really cute guys, trick questions on history tests, a random guy criticizing my mom for letting me drink coffee (dude I'm 18 stop it), an amber alert on my phone going off in the middle of class, and all my black clothes getting covered in golden retriever hair anytime I sit down thanks to Mr. Murphy.

Blogging// Hey There January, where I talk about my December and discuss my January goals. Life Happenings // Managing Sickness and Homework, where I give excuses for my absence and layout an easy five step plan on how to feel better. Favorite Period Drama Soundtracks // YOU'RE WELCOME, where I talk about my favorite soundtracks to listen to and study with. And Pity Parties Are My Specialty // Job 1-2, where I talk about praising God in all stages of life instead of being like me and having little pity parties about everything (even meatloaf isn't an acceptable reason).

Hoping// To stop scrolling through pinterest and get to bed on time, study harder for my history quizzes, actually eat breakfast and study the word before I go to school, make more time for friends and facetime chats, and smile whenever I feel like frowning.

How was your January? Did anything exciting happen? Have you ever gotten your keys stuck in your pony tail when trying to act all chill around really attractive guys? Please say yes or this will be sorta awkward.

Have a wonderful February my friends,


© elizabeth anne. Made with love by The Dutch Lady Designs.